Worst Resume Ever

Office life can be really boring, generally.  My office bitch entertains me, though. He originally applied to work for me with a crappy resume, so I keep him naked underneath my desk all day when I'm not torturing him.  He at least keeps my heels polished and sweaty stockings clean.  I need to look perfect for every single meeting and a little stress relief on my feet works wonders.  If he doesn't work, I trample him.  When I'm bored of him, I pass him onto the other women in the office.